The Campaign for the New Possible Part 2

In Part One, I ranted on about defying the current call to the new normal, why we want normality and how, in my opinion, in this unique stage in the development of the world, we have a chance to look for something else.

In Part two I will encourage us all to look forward into the New Possible by exploring how that ‘ something else’ doesn’t have to be BRAND new, it just could be POSSIBLE.

I believe that The New Possible is a mind set, a world view, a visor through which you can begin to see and be encouraged by the possibilities.

It will enable you to see the new normal creeping up on you, and at the very least, have a second thought about it. 

At the very most, it will allow you to bless it and move on, even though it will have set some 'trip up traps' and diversion notices  - the new normal is nothing if not cunning and utterly comforting.

For example, I imagine you have a number of unachieved goals, schemes, targets, hope and dreams, just waiting on a list for the right time to arise, because I did, and still do!

Waiting for:

• The time when you have MORE time  - I sorry, but we won’t!
• The time when you have enough money - I’m sorry, but we never will!
• The time when that ‘other thing’ gets done and then.....

I call this the When /Then Paradox. 

WHEN ‘this thing’ gets done, THEN, like a Domino Fall, it will set off a number of scenarios that will end up with you achieving the goal, planning the scheme, hitting the target or making the dream come true. 

The problem with the WHEN /THEN Paradox is that we will most certainly get distracted by a ‘domino’ 

• that falls the wrong way, 
• or completely off the table 

And that will be that. We MIGHT well achieve something but it won’t be The Thing.

What a Prophet of Doom I am turning out to be!

So, would you have a think just now about that possible goal, scheme, target or dream.

 It’s certainly not normal or we would have achieved it by now, but it is possible, even if it’s a little out of reach.

This.... this is the time you have been waiting for. The time you can take the first step, which might be a simple as physically stepping up and try dangling your toe into the Pool of Possibility. This 2020 time where everything is still different enough for us to TRY.

You know that area of the beach, the waters edge, where the sand or pebbles meet the sea, where dry becomes wet, where solid becomes liquid, where warm becomes shriekingly cold, where safe becomes a little bit dangerous, depending on the weather or how small you are? 

It’s a threshold, a crossing into a new environment. 

While we might not have done it so much lately, we have crossed a million thresholds in our lifetimes; through physical doorways, stage curtains, changing rooms, on and off public transport, and emotional thresholds too; love, grief, fear, joy, conflict, peace and more.

How disappointing to go through the effort of crossing a threshold only to discover simply a NEW NORMAL, which by the way IS normal, so you must defy it and hold to the New Possible. 

It might make you unpopular with friends, family and colleagues, but it won’t last long, because they love you and value you.

For every rule there is an ‘unrule’ though. I recognise that for some, wanting a pre Pandemic life back is a very real lament and heart cry to be able to continue, complete, confront, compound significant projects that are on hold right now. 

 

The time will come!

So to summarise part 2:

• The time to try is most definitely now.
• The funding is what you already have
• Ditch the When/ Then Dominoes
• Step up and Paddle in the Pool of Possibilities
• Enjoy threshold crossing
• Possibly annoy friends, family and collegues for a little while
• Put on your New Possible visor and start to see where New Normal is setting traps
• Avoid New Normals traps

In Part Three I’ll be chatting about ‘Returning’ which is not the same as ‘going back’ at all.

The Campaign For The New Possible - 2020: the year that changed everything part 1

Do you remember NORMAL?

Those days when you were in control.

When you knew within reason, and with so much certainty that you didn't need to think about it, what would happen most of the time, apart from when you didn't, but that was actually ok as well, most of the time - sudden deaths, accidents and things like finding out that your friend is pregnant and discovering someone you thought was younger than you is the same age as you not, withstanding!

Those days when NORMAL equalled a range of 'unpredictable' that was comfortably predictable. You could pivot and change direction without much disturbance of the 'force', without stepping outside the normal comfort zone within which you went about your business, your pleasure, your up and your down time, your past and your future time, your now, and certainly your never time. Simply,you knew what you would and would not be prepared to do and all without really thinking about it.

You just knew what your parameters were, which meant you could function on a 'higher than normal' level, because NORMAL was 'done' and just ticking away in eyesight, but not really taking up much of your mind.

AND when abnormal things happened, as they did now and then, you knew you had a NORMAL place to anchor to and usually it involved a cup of tea/ any drink you like, maybe some tissues and something on the tele that helped you feel NORMAL.

And then one day - for me the 17th March 2020 -  just like that, NORMAL vanished. Overnight all the normal stuff leaked away and we know what happened - the outcome of a Global Pandemic finally hit the UK and amongst terrifying data and daily briefings, toilet paper, pasta and hand sanitiser became more desirable and valuable than platinum.

I am not going to commentate on Covid 19 from here on in as we all have our own story.

My focus is on our desire for NORMAL, cunningly hidden in what people are calling the New Normal, which IS NOT A THING!

What do we want? NORMAL!! When do we want it? NOW!!

But more importantly WHY do we want it?

We want it because it's not exhausting and it doesn't take up all out thought space.

We want it because we feel in control with it. 

NORMAL feels like we have won, like we have bent all the forces in the world to our own will and we can rest assured that 'I'm safe, I'm in control, I know things and can I also bake a cake, or write a blog, or drive a car, push a shopping trolley or care for a sick relative OR pet all at the same time.'

NORMAL is essentially your parents raising up the stabilisers on your learner bike, so you think they are stabilising you, but in fact they are not.

When you take them off though, crashes happen...….until you get use to balancing on your own and then you never forget how to ride a bike and that goes in your NORMAL file.

Which brings me to POSSIBLE.

Everything IS possible until it isn't which is a whole other sensitive issue - but for the purposes of this blog, we will surmise that for the majority of people EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. And for those people who might need some additional support for ACCESSIBLE/POSSIBLE, they can make it look really easy.

So to end part 1.

NORMAL is normal

New NORMAL is not a thing - its a lie that we tell ourselves to us to make us think that we will be in control again - which we will let me tell you -  but it won't be a NEW NORMAL, it will simply be normal.

POSSIBLE is something we can consider, as in 'Hmmmm, yeah, it's possible'

THE NEW POSSIBLE is what we are being given right now, today, in this UNPRESEDENTED time.

Time to think about what's actually possible that will be normal when we get our balance again.

We won't go BACK to NORMAL, we can go FORWARD to POSSIBLE.

End of Part One

That’s Not Proper Camping!

Reflections on Camping or That’s Not Proper Camping- from the Laundry, because the middle Saturday is always Camp Tidy.

Camping is not to everyone’s taste, nor is a hot beverage of your choice out of a melamine mug, but we like it and I think our offspring still enjoy it - our two nearly 21 year olds joining us again this year and given half a chance, I think our 25 year old and his wife would have come to spend some time with us all too.

Over the many years we have changed our rig- but always a tent, NEVER a caravan- had creatures eat part of it, suffered leaks, seepages and floods including a huge under footprint puddle which gave a kind of water bed feeling to the holiday ( thank you Perth - Scotland,not Australia) punctured airbeds ( pretty much every year), broken poles etc etc

It’s funny how some folks who would never camp ( and we know some who would NEVER camp 😉)  and who we might try to persuade by selling the benefits of having electric lighting, fridge, toaster, kettle, cooker, coffee bean grinder, heater and hairdryer when required, duvet and proper pillows - essentially home from home, but the walls move when it gets windy-  go on to say, ‘oh, but that’s not proper camping, that’s GLAMPING!’

Yes, ok, if you like!

But GLAMPING is not proper camping if you ask me - people who GLAMP don’t even put up their own tents! 😂 ( people who live in yurts are exempt from my inverted snobbery 😌)

Also, apparently if you do not spend every minute of every day on your campsite it’s not camping either! ‘What?!?!’ they say. ‘You go out for the day?!??!?!. That’s not proper camping!’

And a place to do your washing up with water coming from the taps hot enough to make a cuppa! ‘Whatever happened to carbolic soap and cold water? That’s not proper camping!’

And now we have an air beam tent ( inflatable poles y’know) which Keith’s barber likes to endearing call ‘The Balloon’ as in ,’ oh gawd, you’re not going away in that balloon again are you?’ But he never washes up his tea cups and he supports Charlton, so what does he know?

Anyway, apparently, no poles is a sell out too. Let me tell you, this baby goes up in 15 minutes as opposed to 50 and has reduced the ‘differences of opinion’ by 90%.

Yes, a midnight trip to the loo can be a 10 minute palaver- especially when it’s raining - but look up and see the stars!

And, we have never bought a TV or laptop and nor have we watched Netflix or catch up TV .... as a family; I have no idea what individuals might do in the privacy of their own rooms. 

Then there’s the lovely bonus of neighbours who share the same thin walls, which to be fair is not at all bad - we must just go to great campsites with relatively quiet people. We have snorers that can compete if required, and do remember how hard it can be to sooth little children in the middle of the night. 

Chatting is de riguer and I must now pay tribute to the lovely couple who just this very morning chatted to me while watching me struggle to drape some washing over a fence in a relatively high wind ( but amazing sunlight), carefully using the laces of vest tops to tie down tea shirts and pj bottoms only to say as they went on their way with their lovely dogs,’ You do realise there is a rotary airer round the corner with pegs , don’t you?’ 

Well, I do NOW!  🙄

However, lovely hotels, apartments, air bnbs and cottages are also grand places to stay and I would never say no to them, but - for us - there is just something character enhancing about knowing that when you do finally sit down onto your camping chair ( not a deck chair ☹️) or sink under a cloud soft duvet onto a slowly deflating matteress that you have properly deserved it.

Family Values? Family? Values?

Over a period of about 2 years, on and off, The Hall Family met, talked, thought about, forgot about and finally produced a set of outcomes that we, as a family want to live by.

I think, on reflection that they are underpinned by values that we haven't actually articulated, but are probably things like Respect, Trust, Love, Grace, Justice/ Equality, Loyalty, Reconciliation.....

Outcomes that illustrate how we will behave towards each other and others; attributes that we will see lived out in our responses to pressure as well as in chill out time, outcomes that we can hold each other accountable to.

Outcomes that, in all honesty we aspire to and look great on a canvas in our hallway, but in reality, particularly when under pressure, in conflict situations, when we are tired and when we are late for things are not our default setting.

Outcomes that, when visitors see them,  result in smiles and lovely comments about us as a family  - which is smashing!!

Outcomes which are pointed to when they are clearly NOT being personified and yelled loudly -'Um, HELLOOOOO!!!!! WE WILL LISTEN TO EACH OTHER!!!!!.....WE WILL HELP EACH OTHER!!!!!!  etc etc

Outcomes by which we actually measure our short comings and feel a bit pants and guilty about.

But they came from consultation and reflection, so must be 'in there somewhere' and I, as mum, am happy that we have them in plain view.

Aa a family - and as any other family will say about themselves, we are not a Mary Poppins Family - 'practically perfect in every way', but we are a Lilo and Stitch Family - Ohana, means Family and Family means that no one gets left behind.....especially not on a 'gentle climb' up the Craggs of Arthurs Seat at 11:30pm on New Year's Eve.........

The bible verse that surrounds our canvas states,

'You must make allowances for each other's faults and forgive the person that offends you. Remember that the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is Love; Love is what binds us altogether in perfect harmony' Colossians 3:13-14

...which is possibly a more realistic picture of where we are just now, with a full dishwasher, full tummies, TV blaring football being watched by Mr Hall, one child ( they will ALWAYS be children) in Edinburgh, one child talking about Prom and one child Gaming, or skyping or texting or listening to music or ALL of those things at once and me,blowing my nose and just trying to make a bit of sense of it all....for now.

Day Five......we are at the end of ourselves and our resources!

Looking in our 'pantry' we discovered that we have plenty of 'the same' to be able to eat a bit more of 'the same' today than we have all week.

So Tom and I found our mouths watering at in anticipation of a huge veg curry for tea and Elyse was delighted to discover that she can have 4 slices of pizza toast.

However, we had to get through the rest of the day first.

Fuelled by 2 eggs on toast for me and Tom, and a cheese toasty for Elyse, we set off for our various daily programmes - the kids to school, including PE, and me, dropping the car off for a service and then commencing my volunteering duties at my church.

(Context - I work 4 days a week and always had a mind to volunteer for another organisation to see how they do their family work. I was hopeful of a role with family counselling charity, but we just couldn't get it together to organise when I would do the training, let alone actually be let loose on families, so - actually against my better judgement, but i really think God knows best - today and for the foreseable, my church has the pleasure of my company during the week)

I am supporting the Toddler Leader, and trying to join dots for families in terms of the other Family Programmes we run at the Church, and so setting up, sorting out and being allocated to manage the painting zone and chatting (yeay!) was my lot for this morning. The leader also knows me in my work capacity so she invited me to lead the song time at the end too - so she could see what I did.

I was shattered by the time we had energetically motivated everyone in those classic action songs that pre school kids love - I was actually sweating (eugh) But we still had Grand Old Duke of York, Ringa Roses and Prayer Time to cover. I was mortified to forget the words to the prayer that the group recite - my mum bailing me out from the storage cupboard, which was actually hilarious!

Then the centre manager wanted to see me and all I wanted was my lunch ( rice, veg and pasta sauce)
Anyway, we had a great chat with one of the other employees about mission and inductions for volunteers etc and I had a spectacular brain dump, totally loosing track of what i was going to say. I still don't remember!!

Then came the phone call from the garage about going to collect the car - do you know what, I just couldn't face getting on the bus and going to to collect it, so I put that off til tomorrow.

A trip into the town to buy birthday cards and prezzies for my dad's birthday, which is tomorrow, just about finished me off and then - oh man - I had to WALK home. I had a flashback to when I was a kid 'schlupping' home from school carrying a bag ( not a rucksack, a shopping bag) which I recall weighed as much as me. It was all I could do today to not put the handles of the bag around my head, as I used to back in day!!

I think I will take the musing that I mumbled about during the week, concerning not having enough nutrition to function as me this week, away with me and the actual sadness I feel about some people, some 1.2 billion people currently,having no idea of what they could do and be, if only they could afford a better nutritional diet.

Elyse has realised that being tired, achey and moaney for a week is a small price to pay to raise awareness of the issue.

Thomas has discovered that food poverty sucks and that he's hungry even after massive extra veg curry.

Today has seen a huge jump in our donations and we are very grateful - knowing that people are rooting for us has made this really exciting actually.

Worthwhile? Who knows? I guess if next year, LBTL is still looking to raise awareness of 1.2 billion people, or even worse 1.3 billion people, then we might been to rethink, or people higher up might need to consider a new and better way of eradicating poverty.

It's a tough one!!

Day 4 - Mis-spellings and Misunderstandings

We all woke up and agreed that we feel weak and feeble - I felt like you do when you have got out of swimming pool after being in it for about an hour and the lack of buoyancy makes you feel like you weigh about 10 tonnes!

Tom was keen to show me his ribs which are 'quite promenent' now so I decided he should take emergency biscuits into school with him - alongside his 'delicious' wholemeal bread, sans mould!

I was later than normal into the office today owing to traffic and can normally handle the ( hopefully) good natured teasing that generally goes along with misdemenours , but today I really took it personally - ridiculous, but true. Paranoia is setting in!!

Then the actual work - oh my goodness - and you have to know that this blog is taking ages as I am mistyping and mis-spelling pretty much everything. I don't seem to have the hand/eye/ keyboard coordination required to do this anymore. So I was glad that someone came to see me this morning, and as my speaking hasn't been affected (!!) I did ok apart from loosing my train of thought and forgetting people's names. Fortunately my colleague was wonderfully understanding and we did some good work.

I am not hungry, but clearly the food I am eating is not giving the nutrients that I need to be me.

Getting in from work, I discover that the children have also had a tough day, not fancying doing their homework ( actually unusual) and telling me that frustrations at school led one of them to feeling really angry.

I am glad tomorrow is our final day and I am so glad that people are sponsoring us to make this final struggle really worthwhile.

I guess the point is, some folks live like this and they might never know what they could really be like because for them, their meagre rations are all they will ever have.

Tom is craving weetabix, I am craving digestive biscuits and my mind back, and Elyse is craving a pancakes and bacon.

But tomorrow we have to run the gauntlet of eggs and toast, rice and pasta sauce and rice and curry sauce ,.......with the famous frozen mixed veg.

Keith has promised to purchase the ingredients for a slap up breakfast on saturday morning.I know I will feel guilty to eat it....but not for long!

Thanks for journeying with us!

Day 3 - quick catch up......

....as I am now off to Christianity Explored and will have to avoid eating Pizza for tea. Other than that, I am really looking forward to week 2 with our amazing group of 7 delegates and 5 team members.

Actually am full up on the Egg Fried Rice, which I shared with Tom, which was really delicious.

Elyse had 2 slices of white bread pizza - plastic cheese and tomato and chilli puree ( special offer)

DRAMA for Tom and I as our budget wholemeal bread is showing signs of mould!!

So we chopped off the crusts and sorted through to find the slices that had not succombed. It was a worry for a while.

It is now in the freezer.

Not much to report really on LBTL conversations other than with work friends who are either on it or are planning to be on it.

However, I did say hello to our new neighbour across the road who is living in a bit of a building site at the moment. I empathised - we have lived like that twice in this house.

Anyway, she invited me in to see how it is all going. Thinking about making her a cake at the weekend as she was at a funeral today too.

It's going to be amazing when its finished though and I really didn't think she was in the mood to hear about MY week long challenge when she's going to be living in a bit of a mess for some time.

The REAL Day Two - Tuesday ( Craving a Cuppa)

No headaches today!

Tom decided he would take rice and veg to school instead of 'just bread' - 'it was nice' apparently.

Elyse's thermos let her down and so she is now off beans for life - ' that smell'.

My lunch was pasta , sauce and the ubiquitous frozen mixed veg. I got bored about 2/3rds through.

Messy Church this evening, so we arrived after eating at home and had to run the gauntlett of delicious cooking smells at church AND a riot of cake and cookies for dessert - the kids found that REALLY tough.

Messy Church was about Noah and the God's Promises - he always keep them. I found myself promising MYSELF a whole POT of tea on Friday!

Tom and I did share a teabag when I got in from work - it was that or a couple of biscuits. Honestly,one day without tea and I was making noises like I was eating a gourmet meal!! Weird.

Anyway, good conversations with people at Messy Church about why we are doing this. Although the money we are raising will go to Reducing Poverty Projects overseas, there is much talk about the needs in UK. People seem to be able to equate with that more that thinking about what happens in Africa for example. I talked about the irony of the fact that the food we were relying so heavily on this week - rice - is the same food that those people overseas would be eating, and growing and often finding themselves exploited over. It's a complex issue

Day

Day Two

Uneventful I suppose and a little bit excited - looking forward to Egg Fried Rice tomorrow.

Elyse was very organised today, taking a flask of saucy pasta. Tom - suffering with hayfever this morning - not so, just taking 2 slices of bread into school which was clearly not enough. However, he held to the Line and his snack, when he got in, was a bowl of rice rather than 2x Granary bread smothered in Nutella - yeah no chocolatey knife left 'on the side'

I have had a headache all day, but I think it's a bit early to be suffering withdrawal from tea and coffee, so possibly I am just tired ( and possibly not related to LBTL just yet). Many apologies to a work colleague who suffered my yawns while we were having a chat this afternoon.

My overriding feeling is currently horror at the huge reliance we have placed on carbs - our protein coming from eggs and kidney beans.

Chats on FB about accepting a cup of tea from someone else - if it's not in our allowance we can't have it. Sad Face!!

You do become aware of how may places there are to buy food, how many people just walk along the street willy nilly eating something with no thought, not savouring every mouthful...mind you, savouring thin pasta sauce?

Still I am blessed that we do not need to eat porridge - eggs and toast again tomorrow and NO BISCUITS OR TEA AT SMALL GROUP..........Sad Face!! ( again)

Living Below the Line 2014

So, here we are again, preparing to live on £1 a day for 5 days in order to support The Salvation Army raise funds to educate and empower people in our partner territories out of poverty.

No - what we are doing is not comparable to how those people live. I still have my car, my house, my tv, all my 'mod cons'.

I also still have to function as a human being and in my job - last time I did this we were on a week long holiday, so although I recall the tiredness and detox pains and pangs, I didn't have to drive to, for example Basildon or Hatfield Peverel and I didn't have to operate a laptop, be mildly coherent most of the time and could have a little snooze if the feeling overwhelmed me.

What this is doing is raising awareness once again, that people overseas and actually in the UK have to live below the line every single day of the week. Handouts are relatively cheap compared to the long haul need for education and belief that it takes to change a paradigm in some cases

This afternoon, with my personal £5 budget x 3,Elyse Tom and I hit the supermarket and were astonished once again and how expensive everything is, yes even the Budget Brands, which is where we spent our allowance.

Sunday lunch is nicely digesting away and I have a nice hot cuppa on the table which I will enjoy - in fact I will have a few more before turning in later this evening and looking forward to a challenging week - Small Group tomorrow evening, just water please. Messy Church on Tuesday - we'll arrive after tea probably.....and it goes on.

£5 - 5 days.

Sponsor us here https://www.livebelowtheline.com/team/hall-family

Where are all the Older People? (Health and Safety Warning and some thoughts about death)

Following on from last time, I have undertaken ( not related to death, you understand, but kind of topical to this post - keep reading and don't judge me early on) three sort of consultations regarding the Older People's Strategy I am working on.

I say 'consultation', more a fact find actually, and apart from today's, which was a very intimate affair and had a couple of action points resulting from it, not sure entirely what I have discovered yet, other than older people, and I mean much older people, have really interesting stories.

I am encouraging lots of older people, and I mean really older people to write books and even found myself offering to return to a group to facilitate a Group Story Tell and Scrap Booking session!

To be honest anyone who has spent time with older people will know that they can spin ripping yarns, grounded in real life, which is what makes them ripping - the lady who was an engineer during WW2 and ended up driving some General around in an Army car that she had 'souped up' some how, the lady who was in the RAF and still wears her badges on her jacket, the lady who has outlived her children and has a special story for each one - tissues required.

On reflection, my fact findings are uncovering that fact that there are not enough people with enough time to listen to the stories, well, actually listen to the people.

Another fact is that Older People are getting much older which means there are more of them and the younger older people (3rd age) are REALLY different from the older older people ( 4th age) which is why my mum says that she is not old and can't engage with older people.

Mind you, the 94 year old I met the other day,even though she recognised that her body was fragile and frail would not say that she was old....you see we have a problem.

HOW can I work on a strategy for Older People when no-one will admit to being an older person?

Going back to turing 50 and my reticence to embrace it AND the denial that many people seem to be in about their age, I think that it is because we, as a nation, and a church do not really value Old Age. (leaving that one hanging for now)

Relating to Death - linked to the undertaking joke - I am in the midst of a mission to shake up the taboo of talking about Death. ( perhaps lots of people already are and I am a bit behind the times, I don't know). I am wondering about death.

You see, it stands to reason that embracing the idea of aging, also means embracing the idea of dying...at some point. I know that death is no respecter of age, but if we want to live a long and happy life it will, in a 'shifting off this mortal coil kind of way', end at some point.
After having read 'Spiritual Formation' by Henri Nouwen and particularly  the chapter called 'From Denying to Befriending Death' (twice) I think that to get to know death before I really need to grapple with it might be a good idea - all things being equal, if you know what I mean.

Here's something to think about:

'Nature has given me a new face at 74, and it's up to me how I'm gonna wear it.

I have no romantic feelings about my age, but I just feel and think I am newer every day. When I die at 90, I'll be newest to face my creator. He deserves my new look' 

So with all that in mind, I am going to end with a prayer, by Henri - who was a Catholic.

Oh Lord, when shall I die? I do not know and I hope it will not be soon. Not that i feel so attached to this life.....(hmmm - me, not Henri)......but I feel so unprepared to face you. I feel that by letting me live a little longer, you reveal your patience, you give me yet another chance to convert myself, more time to purify my heart. Time is your gift to me - Amen

Adding a String to the Bow...whatever that means!

Having been inspired by Matt White who is currently blogging about a new 'phase' in his life - that of becoming a dad, I thought I would put some thoughts down about a new phase in my life and one that is now meshing with my work.

This year I, along with a number of my friends and all the people in the world born in 1964, turn 50.

F-A-C-T!

I'm not sure how I feel about this other than I am aware of wrinkling my nose up when I tell people, so subconsciously, I guess I am not overly happy about it. ( I am wrinkling up my nose now!)

How does this fit with my work?

 Well for the last two years I have been working in the area of Family and in my denomination - The Salvation Army - the role of Divisional Family Officer, which is what I am, has covered pretty much all of life from cradle to grave but with a specific and traditional weighting towards Older People's Ministry.

However, up until now, I have been in the position of being able to focus on other areas of family - Troubled families, Corps Family,  Community Family and Intergenerational Family, while a colleague has, amongst other things, been working on an piece around Older People with a view coming up with a new strategy for this group.

I am now inheriting this piece of work and my colleague's incredible research has enabled me to feel confident in the way I might progress the next phase of the work - I am pretty comfortable in strategy, but have been thinking that I am going to have to learn to love the ministry aspect.

Anyway, while I know that there is a real spectrum when it comes to aging and that there is much to do in challenging the perception of age, the simple fact is that we all do want a long and happy life.

The reality is that our bodies and possibly our minds and even our children might not be able to keep up with our ideas of what we hope that will look like.

So, I hope to share here my reflections and findings and maybe even some wisdom as we go along.

Something to consider:

Would you rather ' Grow Old Gracefully' or do you ' Dare to Age Well'?

Thinking about Lent....as many people are!

Day 3 of the Lent and I am not really giving anything up - although I am on a diet , but that is not a Lenten thing, it's cos I'm overweight!

I am trying to do something generous each day (that's the 40Acts thing) and following a Bible Reading and Prayer prompt, on line. http://www.24-7prayer.com/podcasts/

What has struck me today though is how ' all about me' Lent currently feels - maybe I am delirious from lack of cake, - my prayers are about me and the it's me trying to do something.

I am curious as to where this feeling will go, what it will turn into next and if it will reveal that there is a process to Lent that all comes together at Easter, which I fully imagine that it will.

So yeah, I am admitting that I have never really done Lent 'properly' before.

Today I am going to try and 'see' Jesus walking alongside me, picking up the slack. Then I will remember that it's all about him.

x

Day 5 - The Last Day on the Line....for us....for now!

The day started early for Keith as usual - he went off to work at 6:30 am with his dry ham sandwiches.

Next was Thomas and me, as he had a dentist appointment and as it was Children's Day, they were giving away fruit and boxes of Raisins - aaarrrrgh!

Thomas took a box of raisins for tomorrow and they are sitting in the fridge next to the chocolate buttons and a cup cake that I was randomly given on Monday!

We went swimming this afternoon and as it was so hot , had the car windows down. Driving past McDonalds was HARSH!

Eventually we arrived at 'tea time' - jacket pot, beans and cheese 44.9p each and began to think about what it would be like tomorrow, when we could eat what we liked, when we liked.

We have not had tea, coffee, sweets.biscuits, desserts, and a whole fruit each all week - a banana is 12p and an apple an enormous 26p, so we have been sharing.

A tip for families attempting this is to buy in really cheap shops - Lidl and Aldi, and then you can certainly get more for your money.

We have all lost some weight and that has not been a bad thing for me and Keith and I don't really want to put it on again and while I have really missed the treats, I know I can go without and currently feel really guilty even thinking about eating a biscuit.

I hope that the residue of that will stay with me - the reason we have undertaken the challenge is to raise awareness of 1) the issue of extreme poverty and 2) what people can do to help i.e sponsor us and in turn help alleviate this issue where it really matters.

The brilliant thing about the Project is that lots of charities are benefitting, and not just overseas, there are some in the UK too.

It was great going to church this evening to celebrate a Love Feast and we had spared some pennies to cover us for bread and juice - our church friends wanted to know how we had got on and I think Elyse and Thomas were a little overwhelmed at the interest shown in them. We were also given some money towards our target of £150 and want to thank all the people who have sponsored us so far.

Please don't stop giving, just because the challenge is over for us. The official start date is 2nd May so you still have time to plan ( very important if you are working as a team or a family)

The main observation is that each of us has come away from this with a different outcome.

I think it will impact Elyse and Thomas, but they are currently looking forward to eating, and so cannot put their thoughts into words.

Keith has struggled all the way through, but today had a proper conversation with a couple of guys at work about it.

Joe would like to do it again, after his exams and we will actively support him, but not take part. It really enforced what he already knows and working towards a single aim has affirmed him yet again in the life choices he is making.

And me, well I now know just how far my family are prepared to go to support each other in what was a really tough task. I'm proud of that and the money we have raised and the conversations we have had with each other ,the way we have dealt with our differences of opinion and the way we have shared.

It hasn't been a blast, but it has been a wake up call.

Keep giving and thanks for sharing this journey with us. x

Day 4 - Planning really is the key.

The thing is that you just don't know what it's like and what your reaction is going to be until you are really into it.

For a family, we have discovered that there are 3 ways of doing this - but you will find more:

1) clear out all your cupboards and just spend your money for the week and live on that

2) work out how much everything in your cupboards costs and then live on a £1 each of what you already have

3) Spend your weekly money on staples and try to live on that and soon realise that you ARE going to run out of something and begin to tweak from the pantry.

The tweaking has got more and more throughout the week - we have still lived on £1 each a day, but the lack of variety for most of us who lack the willpower has been really hard.

Reading back on Day one, we were excited and anxious. Today I was just anxious. There is no bread!

Joe seems to be continuing to cope well with the lack of food, but in his enthusiasm, he is policing the rest of us quite hard.

We are all tired and a bit grumpy with each other, so misunderstandings get big pretty quickly. Even I have raised my voice in a fight or flight situation, when normally I would have let it wash over and just walked away.

Keith has really missed out on some relationship building during his first week in a new job, when he could be socialising over a bacon butty. The team know why he is not joining them in the canteen, but he doesn't feel he knows them well enough to ask for sponsorship.

Essentially we have expected Elyse and Thomas to live in a world that they do not understand, one where there is little or no choice and definitely NO chocolate, or chips or chargrilled burgers and all the other delicious things beginning with 'ch'.

The other thing I have noticed is how we use food for entertainment( we eat when we are bored, or just because the food is there) and how much time it normally takes to prepare family meals and therefore how much time we/ I have had on our/ my hands this week. I have nearly read a whole book!

Going into Sainsburys today (to get loo roll) and fretting over whether to buy bread, I became aware of how much stuff there is to buy that just makes life feel better, but isn't really that necessary...but it does make life feel better and, again, how much of it there is - loads!

I bought bread ( Basics 47p for 22 slices).

Day 3 - Choice vs No Choice

Elyse was at a Birthday party and Sleep Over last night, and we had already decided as a family that she could partake - it would have been rotten not to let her go as it was a rite of passage for her too - her first proper sleep over.I collected her this morning and she had had a wonderful time and proceeded to tell me about breakfast.......and then stopped.

I told her it was ok, but that she was back 'on the line' from now.

It was a quiet day in all as Joe was revising and has decided that he needs to eat little and often to keep concentrating, so it really now doing his own thing with the £1.

Elyse and Thomas then went off to a friends house and Thomas decided to have lunch at home before they went, whereas Elyse was going to chance it at the friends house. We had a conversation about how she would manage and she said she would stick to the line and tell her friend why - he might even sponsor her. She phoned home a little later to make sure her teaspoon of marg. was also included in the price - bless!

Keeping a track of where people are up to is pretty easy for breakfast and lunch- we have a notice board with the prices of all the foods we have bought for the event and then each person has a countdown sheet where we can mark off what we have spent and most importantly what we have left for our main meal of the day,which is where it gets harder and there are always 'issues'. We are all pretty hungry by then and it seems to take ages for everyone to tot up their food.

The thing is we are still living in the realm of ' what would you like to eat' rather than me saying 'Here's what there is - get on with it'

However, supplies are dwindling and the next couple of days might have to be like that!

Keith didn't get in till 7:15 this evening and we needed to be out again by 7:45, so he couldn't enjoy his meal as he had to eat it quickly, and therefore didn't really feel filled up by it. He and I were off to our Small Group where we had to explain why he couldn't have a coffee - no funds left, but that I had budgeted to have a cup of tea. And we couldn't have cake either, but funnily enough, no one did!

Observations from today:

We are all thinking about Friday, when we are 'off the line' - Joe will have Birthday Cake, Thomas is going to buy a Sharing pack of Doritos and not share them and I am considering what Good Friday Breakfast will be.

Keith has lost 6lbs since Sunday

Joe is loosing 1lb a day

I have no idea about me, but think I look thinner!

I am not looking forward to tomorrow, as I am bored of eating the same stuff and want to get more provisions, but we have spent our £25 and that is that.

The next two days will be tougher and I hope will open our minds to more of the issues.

Day 2 - Reality Sets In and More Questions that Answers

I woke up with a splitting headache - surely I don't drink that much tea and coffee that 1 day without leaves me cold..... turkey. ( aarggh)

The other thing generally about today is that EVERYTHING seemed to be about food.

Thomas found it really hard while we were out and about in Maldon in the sunshine as everyone was eating something and tried to find loopholes in the rules - 'Ice cream is definitely not food!'

Elyse was also under pressure and the little local sweet shops with their Easter window displays elicited little moans of despair.

Her reasoning was that surely even the poorest people can save up for treats. The conversation that followed had us going round in circles - if we were in Africa, they wouldn't really know about treats and certainly wouldn't think to save up for something that would mean they couldn't sustain themselves today.

Delayed gratification was the lesson of this day for Elyse and Thomas ' We could buy it today and not eat it until Friday!' ( Readers, this would NOT happen and therefore the answer was NO)

I found myself saying NO a lot and it made our outing slightly less enjoyable than it would have been if I had bought all the snacks they wanted. What it did mean is that we spent time talking to each other ( ok it was about food, but it was enjoyable none the less).

One conversation was about poor people in the UK, which was started by Thomas saying that he couldn't see ANYONE that wasn't eating a snack and therefore there must be no poor people in Maldon. We wondered if maybe people living in extreme poverty just become invisible - particularly families living below the line. Why would mum want to take children to a place that just reminded them of all the things they can't have. Issues of confidence and self esteem stop people ...being people?

Keith also woke with a headache and managed to survive until lunchtime - he went without breakfast! With only 3 pence left after tea, he couldn't have afforded it anyway, BUT the issue of planning is an issue. Did we plan well enough to ensure we had enough variety and range of cost?

In his mind, he is still struggling to see the relationship with our family living on £5 a day and what it really means for those who deal with it in real life. Will we really get to know what it's really like?

We have gone from being able to have what we want when we want it to this - we have suddenly hit ' hard times' and how often is life really like that?

His concern is that there are other implications to take into account, he has just started a new job - he feels tired already, he has struggled with a headache. It is tough.

Joe wanted to postpone celebrating his birthday until after his exams anyway, but it would have been tough to make it different from any other day - I am reminded of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but in our case, the token Chocolate Buttons and any Golden Ticket are remaining resolutely in the fridge. ( 4p each).

Sponsor us here!

http://my.livebelowtheline.co.uk:80/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=354013

Day 1 - The New Normal?

So many observations to make from day one of our challenge:

1) Cereal is too expensive and I will be having toast for breakfast tomorrow.

2) Taking time to prepare a cheese sandwich made it much more delicious, as did eating every crumb.

3) Sharing an apple between 4 of us ( one member of the family declined a community fruit)

4) Meal times are controversial.

Actually meal times generally are controversial in the Hall Household and I guess that springs from a) mum not being a domestic goddess and not having the weekly meals planned out and b) being a family cursed by post modernity where there is no absolute and everyone has a preference. There are other reasons too, but not relevant to this challenge.

I think that for a family of individuals, living on £1 a day is easy, but the challenge surrounding it is not.

Bad planning has lead to issues of people doing their own thing meaning the our main meal this evening was a bit of a mess and even this morning, we began to divert from the 'basics' menu - Can I have Nutella instead of Butter? How much is a tea bag and does a splash of milk count? etc

The other issue is that the rules of the challenge to Live on £1 do not reflect the reality of extreme poverty on the UK, in our experience, while recognising that we have very little experience.

People living on the streets in Romford only relating to the issue of food, often get bought cups of tea and coffee by members of the public and can pop into the SA for a meal and on Sunday Mornings, for a coffee and slice of cake. The rules forbid us accepting food from anyone, and this has been mentioned more than once today. I think that this suggests that we are already missing our tea, coffee and cake!

So we wondered if we were replicating the dilemmas of those living in Africa for example - the families that Joe met in Zambia who eat Sheema every day. Are we prepared to eat the same meal everyday?

We reasoned though that communities might pool their resources and do they measure and cost it out to the last .4 of a penny as we have done today? The fact is, we don't know.

Also, are we working as a team of as a group of individuals and does my need for everyone to 'eat something' mean that I am constantly going to be worried about food and everyone else be just getting on with it?

Then there was conversation about the way we use language and how that reflects 'power'. Who is powerful in my family, and if it's not me, how do I feel about it?

Tomorrow is Joe's 17th Birthday ( but that's on hold anyway owing to exam/ revision pressure, Elyse is off out in the evening for a sleep over and I have holiday time. We are planning to pop down to Maldon and......not go into the lovely Deli for lunch :(

Please make a pledge to sponsor us!

Preparation for Living Below the Line

Extreme poverty is something that I see on TV, read about in the newspapers and think I have got my head around, but it seems far away from where I am....because it is.

How can you get your head around the fact that people live/ survive on the equivalent of £1 a day and that £1 has to cover everything, not just their food. We could say that it's ok for them because they can grow their own food, but they have to start somewhere and that costs too.

So my family have been challenged to go a little way towards understanding the issues faced and try and raise some money to go towards projects that are working full on to help communities move out of extreme poverty.

For about a week, we have been trying to have a family get together to decide how we will pool our £1 each a day, giving us a food budget for the week of £25.

Live Below the Line have loads of suggestions and recipes to help make the money go further and fortunately I have a week off work, so I can give head space to deciding what the meals will include and look like, but if I was at work I can't see that it would happen.

Keith will be going to work and he has said that he will need lots of help and support to stick to the challenge;

3pm cakes breaks and a subsidised canteen will be tempting him away from his meagre lunch of a sandwich, half and apple and some tap water. Tea and coffee are included in the £1 and have to be budgeted for!

Today, after rummaging through the cupboards and seeing what we already have to inform our 'big shop', we set off to Sainsburys.

Armed with calculator ( on my ipod touch), we were comparing and contrasting the cost and nutritional content of Beans - Heinz, Supermarket brand and Basics range, bread, eggs, orange juice,cereal, fruit and veg.

I suggested going to the market for veg, but even Joe was really fed up by then, and he loves a locally produced bargain. It was stressful!

For Joe there are other issues at stake too - ethical shopping has to be put to one side as Fairtrade and/ or Organic are completely out of our range now. Mind you, we are all going to have to be veggies this week, as, on the face of it, so is meat!

We will be donating the rest of the money we would have spent on our weekly shop to The Salvation Army Generation Project.

If you'd like to sponsor us, you can do the same and we are just getting our donation page sorted on the LBTL website. so watch this space.