The Campaign for the New Possible Part 2

In Part One, I ranted on about defying the current call to the new normal, why we want normality and how, in my opinion, in this unique stage in the development of the world, we have a chance to look for something else.

In Part two I will encourage us all to look forward into the New Possible by exploring how that ‘ something else’ doesn’t have to be BRAND new, it just could be POSSIBLE.

I believe that The New Possible is a mind set, a world view, a visor through which you can begin to see and be encouraged by the possibilities.

It will enable you to see the new normal creeping up on you, and at the very least, have a second thought about it. 

At the very most, it will allow you to bless it and move on, even though it will have set some 'trip up traps' and diversion notices  - the new normal is nothing if not cunning and utterly comforting.

For example, I imagine you have a number of unachieved goals, schemes, targets, hope and dreams, just waiting on a list for the right time to arise, because I did, and still do!

Waiting for:

• The time when you have MORE time  - I sorry, but we won’t!
• The time when you have enough money - I’m sorry, but we never will!
• The time when that ‘other thing’ gets done and then.....

I call this the When /Then Paradox. 

WHEN ‘this thing’ gets done, THEN, like a Domino Fall, it will set off a number of scenarios that will end up with you achieving the goal, planning the scheme, hitting the target or making the dream come true. 

The problem with the WHEN /THEN Paradox is that we will most certainly get distracted by a ‘domino’ 

• that falls the wrong way, 
• or completely off the table 

And that will be that. We MIGHT well achieve something but it won’t be The Thing.

What a Prophet of Doom I am turning out to be!

So, would you have a think just now about that possible goal, scheme, target or dream.

 It’s certainly not normal or we would have achieved it by now, but it is possible, even if it’s a little out of reach.

This.... this is the time you have been waiting for. The time you can take the first step, which might be a simple as physically stepping up and try dangling your toe into the Pool of Possibility. This 2020 time where everything is still different enough for us to TRY.

You know that area of the beach, the waters edge, where the sand or pebbles meet the sea, where dry becomes wet, where solid becomes liquid, where warm becomes shriekingly cold, where safe becomes a little bit dangerous, depending on the weather or how small you are? 

It’s a threshold, a crossing into a new environment. 

While we might not have done it so much lately, we have crossed a million thresholds in our lifetimes; through physical doorways, stage curtains, changing rooms, on and off public transport, and emotional thresholds too; love, grief, fear, joy, conflict, peace and more.

How disappointing to go through the effort of crossing a threshold only to discover simply a NEW NORMAL, which by the way IS normal, so you must defy it and hold to the New Possible. 

It might make you unpopular with friends, family and colleagues, but it won’t last long, because they love you and value you.

For every rule there is an ‘unrule’ though. I recognise that for some, wanting a pre Pandemic life back is a very real lament and heart cry to be able to continue, complete, confront, compound significant projects that are on hold right now. 

 

The time will come!

So to summarise part 2:

• The time to try is most definitely now.
• The funding is what you already have
• Ditch the When/ Then Dominoes
• Step up and Paddle in the Pool of Possibilities
• Enjoy threshold crossing
• Possibly annoy friends, family and collegues for a little while
• Put on your New Possible visor and start to see where New Normal is setting traps
• Avoid New Normals traps

In Part Three I’ll be chatting about ‘Returning’ which is not the same as ‘going back’ at all.

The Campaign For The New Possible - 2020: the year that changed everything part 1

Do you remember NORMAL?

Those days when you were in control.

When you knew within reason, and with so much certainty that you didn't need to think about it, what would happen most of the time, apart from when you didn't, but that was actually ok as well, most of the time - sudden deaths, accidents and things like finding out that your friend is pregnant and discovering someone you thought was younger than you is the same age as you not, withstanding!

Those days when NORMAL equalled a range of 'unpredictable' that was comfortably predictable. You could pivot and change direction without much disturbance of the 'force', without stepping outside the normal comfort zone within which you went about your business, your pleasure, your up and your down time, your past and your future time, your now, and certainly your never time. Simply,you knew what you would and would not be prepared to do and all without really thinking about it.

You just knew what your parameters were, which meant you could function on a 'higher than normal' level, because NORMAL was 'done' and just ticking away in eyesight, but not really taking up much of your mind.

AND when abnormal things happened, as they did now and then, you knew you had a NORMAL place to anchor to and usually it involved a cup of tea/ any drink you like, maybe some tissues and something on the tele that helped you feel NORMAL.

And then one day - for me the 17th March 2020 -  just like that, NORMAL vanished. Overnight all the normal stuff leaked away and we know what happened - the outcome of a Global Pandemic finally hit the UK and amongst terrifying data and daily briefings, toilet paper, pasta and hand sanitiser became more desirable and valuable than platinum.

I am not going to commentate on Covid 19 from here on in as we all have our own story.

My focus is on our desire for NORMAL, cunningly hidden in what people are calling the New Normal, which IS NOT A THING!

What do we want? NORMAL!! When do we want it? NOW!!

But more importantly WHY do we want it?

We want it because it's not exhausting and it doesn't take up all out thought space.

We want it because we feel in control with it. 

NORMAL feels like we have won, like we have bent all the forces in the world to our own will and we can rest assured that 'I'm safe, I'm in control, I know things and can I also bake a cake, or write a blog, or drive a car, push a shopping trolley or care for a sick relative OR pet all at the same time.'

NORMAL is essentially your parents raising up the stabilisers on your learner bike, so you think they are stabilising you, but in fact they are not.

When you take them off though, crashes happen...….until you get use to balancing on your own and then you never forget how to ride a bike and that goes in your NORMAL file.

Which brings me to POSSIBLE.

Everything IS possible until it isn't which is a whole other sensitive issue - but for the purposes of this blog, we will surmise that for the majority of people EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. And for those people who might need some additional support for ACCESSIBLE/POSSIBLE, they can make it look really easy.

So to end part 1.

NORMAL is normal

New NORMAL is not a thing - its a lie that we tell ourselves to us to make us think that we will be in control again - which we will let me tell you -  but it won't be a NEW NORMAL, it will simply be normal.

POSSIBLE is something we can consider, as in 'Hmmmm, yeah, it's possible'

THE NEW POSSIBLE is what we are being given right now, today, in this UNPRESEDENTED time.

Time to think about what's actually possible that will be normal when we get our balance again.

We won't go BACK to NORMAL, we can go FORWARD to POSSIBLE.

End of Part One

That’s Not Proper Camping!

Reflections on Camping or That’s Not Proper Camping- from the Laundry, because the middle Saturday is always Camp Tidy.

Camping is not to everyone’s taste, nor is a hot beverage of your choice out of a melamine mug, but we like it and I think our offspring still enjoy it - our two nearly 21 year olds joining us again this year and given half a chance, I think our 25 year old and his wife would have come to spend some time with us all too.

Over the many years we have changed our rig- but always a tent, NEVER a caravan- had creatures eat part of it, suffered leaks, seepages and floods including a huge under footprint puddle which gave a kind of water bed feeling to the holiday ( thank you Perth - Scotland,not Australia) punctured airbeds ( pretty much every year), broken poles etc etc

It’s funny how some folks who would never camp ( and we know some who would NEVER camp 😉)  and who we might try to persuade by selling the benefits of having electric lighting, fridge, toaster, kettle, cooker, coffee bean grinder, heater and hairdryer when required, duvet and proper pillows - essentially home from home, but the walls move when it gets windy-  go on to say, ‘oh, but that’s not proper camping, that’s GLAMPING!’

Yes, ok, if you like!

But GLAMPING is not proper camping if you ask me - people who GLAMP don’t even put up their own tents! 😂 ( people who live in yurts are exempt from my inverted snobbery 😌)

Also, apparently if you do not spend every minute of every day on your campsite it’s not camping either! ‘What?!?!’ they say. ‘You go out for the day?!??!?!. That’s not proper camping!’

And a place to do your washing up with water coming from the taps hot enough to make a cuppa! ‘Whatever happened to carbolic soap and cold water? That’s not proper camping!’

And now we have an air beam tent ( inflatable poles y’know) which Keith’s barber likes to endearing call ‘The Balloon’ as in ,’ oh gawd, you’re not going away in that balloon again are you?’ But he never washes up his tea cups and he supports Charlton, so what does he know?

Anyway, apparently, no poles is a sell out too. Let me tell you, this baby goes up in 15 minutes as opposed to 50 and has reduced the ‘differences of opinion’ by 90%.

Yes, a midnight trip to the loo can be a 10 minute palaver- especially when it’s raining - but look up and see the stars!

And, we have never bought a TV or laptop and nor have we watched Netflix or catch up TV .... as a family; I have no idea what individuals might do in the privacy of their own rooms. 

Then there’s the lovely bonus of neighbours who share the same thin walls, which to be fair is not at all bad - we must just go to great campsites with relatively quiet people. We have snorers that can compete if required, and do remember how hard it can be to sooth little children in the middle of the night. 

Chatting is de riguer and I must now pay tribute to the lovely couple who just this very morning chatted to me while watching me struggle to drape some washing over a fence in a relatively high wind ( but amazing sunlight), carefully using the laces of vest tops to tie down tea shirts and pj bottoms only to say as they went on their way with their lovely dogs,’ You do realise there is a rotary airer round the corner with pegs , don’t you?’ 

Well, I do NOW!  🙄

However, lovely hotels, apartments, air bnbs and cottages are also grand places to stay and I would never say no to them, but - for us - there is just something character enhancing about knowing that when you do finally sit down onto your camping chair ( not a deck chair ☹️) or sink under a cloud soft duvet onto a slowly deflating matteress that you have properly deserved it.

Family Values? Family? Values?

Over a period of about 2 years, on and off, The Hall Family met, talked, thought about, forgot about and finally produced a set of outcomes that we, as a family want to live by.

I think, on reflection that they are underpinned by values that we haven't actually articulated, but are probably things like Respect, Trust, Love, Grace, Justice/ Equality, Loyalty, Reconciliation.....

Outcomes that illustrate how we will behave towards each other and others; attributes that we will see lived out in our responses to pressure as well as in chill out time, outcomes that we can hold each other accountable to.

Outcomes that, in all honesty we aspire to and look great on a canvas in our hallway, but in reality, particularly when under pressure, in conflict situations, when we are tired and when we are late for things are not our default setting.

Outcomes that, when visitors see them,  result in smiles and lovely comments about us as a family  - which is smashing!!

Outcomes which are pointed to when they are clearly NOT being personified and yelled loudly -'Um, HELLOOOOO!!!!! WE WILL LISTEN TO EACH OTHER!!!!!.....WE WILL HELP EACH OTHER!!!!!!  etc etc

Outcomes by which we actually measure our short comings and feel a bit pants and guilty about.

But they came from consultation and reflection, so must be 'in there somewhere' and I, as mum, am happy that we have them in plain view.

Aa a family - and as any other family will say about themselves, we are not a Mary Poppins Family - 'practically perfect in every way', but we are a Lilo and Stitch Family - Ohana, means Family and Family means that no one gets left behind.....especially not on a 'gentle climb' up the Craggs of Arthurs Seat at 11:30pm on New Year's Eve.........

The bible verse that surrounds our canvas states,

'You must make allowances for each other's faults and forgive the person that offends you. Remember that the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is Love; Love is what binds us altogether in perfect harmony' Colossians 3:13-14

...which is possibly a more realistic picture of where we are just now, with a full dishwasher, full tummies, TV blaring football being watched by Mr Hall, one child ( they will ALWAYS be children) in Edinburgh, one child talking about Prom and one child Gaming, or skyping or texting or listening to music or ALL of those things at once and me,blowing my nose and just trying to make a bit of sense of it all....for now.

Day Five......we are at the end of ourselves and our resources!

Looking in our 'pantry' we discovered that we have plenty of 'the same' to be able to eat a bit more of 'the same' today than we have all week.

So Tom and I found our mouths watering at in anticipation of a huge veg curry for tea and Elyse was delighted to discover that she can have 4 slices of pizza toast.

However, we had to get through the rest of the day first.

Fuelled by 2 eggs on toast for me and Tom, and a cheese toasty for Elyse, we set off for our various daily programmes - the kids to school, including PE, and me, dropping the car off for a service and then commencing my volunteering duties at my church.

(Context - I work 4 days a week and always had a mind to volunteer for another organisation to see how they do their family work. I was hopeful of a role with family counselling charity, but we just couldn't get it together to organise when I would do the training, let alone actually be let loose on families, so - actually against my better judgement, but i really think God knows best - today and for the foreseable, my church has the pleasure of my company during the week)

I am supporting the Toddler Leader, and trying to join dots for families in terms of the other Family Programmes we run at the Church, and so setting up, sorting out and being allocated to manage the painting zone and chatting (yeay!) was my lot for this morning. The leader also knows me in my work capacity so she invited me to lead the song time at the end too - so she could see what I did.

I was shattered by the time we had energetically motivated everyone in those classic action songs that pre school kids love - I was actually sweating (eugh) But we still had Grand Old Duke of York, Ringa Roses and Prayer Time to cover. I was mortified to forget the words to the prayer that the group recite - my mum bailing me out from the storage cupboard, which was actually hilarious!

Then the centre manager wanted to see me and all I wanted was my lunch ( rice, veg and pasta sauce)
Anyway, we had a great chat with one of the other employees about mission and inductions for volunteers etc and I had a spectacular brain dump, totally loosing track of what i was going to say. I still don't remember!!

Then came the phone call from the garage about going to collect the car - do you know what, I just couldn't face getting on the bus and going to to collect it, so I put that off til tomorrow.

A trip into the town to buy birthday cards and prezzies for my dad's birthday, which is tomorrow, just about finished me off and then - oh man - I had to WALK home. I had a flashback to when I was a kid 'schlupping' home from school carrying a bag ( not a rucksack, a shopping bag) which I recall weighed as much as me. It was all I could do today to not put the handles of the bag around my head, as I used to back in day!!

I think I will take the musing that I mumbled about during the week, concerning not having enough nutrition to function as me this week, away with me and the actual sadness I feel about some people, some 1.2 billion people currently,having no idea of what they could do and be, if only they could afford a better nutritional diet.

Elyse has realised that being tired, achey and moaney for a week is a small price to pay to raise awareness of the issue.

Thomas has discovered that food poverty sucks and that he's hungry even after massive extra veg curry.

Today has seen a huge jump in our donations and we are very grateful - knowing that people are rooting for us has made this really exciting actually.

Worthwhile? Who knows? I guess if next year, LBTL is still looking to raise awareness of 1.2 billion people, or even worse 1.3 billion people, then we might been to rethink, or people higher up might need to consider a new and better way of eradicating poverty.

It's a tough one!!

Day 4 - Mis-spellings and Misunderstandings

We all woke up and agreed that we feel weak and feeble - I felt like you do when you have got out of swimming pool after being in it for about an hour and the lack of buoyancy makes you feel like you weigh about 10 tonnes!

Tom was keen to show me his ribs which are 'quite promenent' now so I decided he should take emergency biscuits into school with him - alongside his 'delicious' wholemeal bread, sans mould!

I was later than normal into the office today owing to traffic and can normally handle the ( hopefully) good natured teasing that generally goes along with misdemenours , but today I really took it personally - ridiculous, but true. Paranoia is setting in!!

Then the actual work - oh my goodness - and you have to know that this blog is taking ages as I am mistyping and mis-spelling pretty much everything. I don't seem to have the hand/eye/ keyboard coordination required to do this anymore. So I was glad that someone came to see me this morning, and as my speaking hasn't been affected (!!) I did ok apart from loosing my train of thought and forgetting people's names. Fortunately my colleague was wonderfully understanding and we did some good work.

I am not hungry, but clearly the food I am eating is not giving the nutrients that I need to be me.

Getting in from work, I discover that the children have also had a tough day, not fancying doing their homework ( actually unusual) and telling me that frustrations at school led one of them to feeling really angry.

I am glad tomorrow is our final day and I am so glad that people are sponsoring us to make this final struggle really worthwhile.

I guess the point is, some folks live like this and they might never know what they could really be like because for them, their meagre rations are all they will ever have.

Tom is craving weetabix, I am craving digestive biscuits and my mind back, and Elyse is craving a pancakes and bacon.

But tomorrow we have to run the gauntlet of eggs and toast, rice and pasta sauce and rice and curry sauce ,.......with the famous frozen mixed veg.

Keith has promised to purchase the ingredients for a slap up breakfast on saturday morning.I know I will feel guilty to eat it....but not for long!

Thanks for journeying with us!

Day 3 - quick catch up......

....as I am now off to Christianity Explored and will have to avoid eating Pizza for tea. Other than that, I am really looking forward to week 2 with our amazing group of 7 delegates and 5 team members.

Actually am full up on the Egg Fried Rice, which I shared with Tom, which was really delicious.

Elyse had 2 slices of white bread pizza - plastic cheese and tomato and chilli puree ( special offer)

DRAMA for Tom and I as our budget wholemeal bread is showing signs of mould!!

So we chopped off the crusts and sorted through to find the slices that had not succombed. It was a worry for a while.

It is now in the freezer.

Not much to report really on LBTL conversations other than with work friends who are either on it or are planning to be on it.

However, I did say hello to our new neighbour across the road who is living in a bit of a building site at the moment. I empathised - we have lived like that twice in this house.

Anyway, she invited me in to see how it is all going. Thinking about making her a cake at the weekend as she was at a funeral today too.

It's going to be amazing when its finished though and I really didn't think she was in the mood to hear about MY week long challenge when she's going to be living in a bit of a mess for some time.